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akingsword:

*logs out of twitter for 52 years* 

(via ernoticon)

tuucker:

irisowl:

So I walked into the dentist this morning. My dentist asked me how my weekend was. I said “Good, I watched Captain America last night. I really liked it.” And my dentist says “Oh, my son is in that movie.” At first I thought he was joking but then I realized

Dr. Robert Evans

I looked it up

My dentist is Captain America’s dad

My doctor is JK Rowling’s husband.

JK Rowling’s husband has asked me if I am sexually active.

(via perks-of-being-chinese)

cnnbreaking:

having only 2 friends in class you have to pair up with and they choose eachother image

(via youngvlcanoes)

unsolve:

who wore it better

imageor image

(via humoristics)

tatehorror:

When you’re at a friend’s house and they have a dog

image

(via riyal)

(via kevrudd)

hotelmario:

bobshit:

what are snails even trying to do

their best

(via astound)

lecic-has-a-shovel:

yungterra:

There is nothing worse than hearing people attempt to sound intelligent by using lengthy words and MISUSING THEM

I completely photosynthesize with this

(via fake-mermaid)

khaleesikun:

man you can tell everyone who posts those zodiac posts have someone they hate b/c it’ll be like

aries: strong :)

taurus: great :)

gemini: fake bitch

cancer: emotional :)

leo: determined :)

virgo: sneaky asshole

libra: smart :)

scorpio: vengeful shitlord

sagittarius: alright :)

capricorn: hardworker :)

aquarius: wackiest fakest bitch

pisces: good :)

(via kevrudd)

dobraeva:

*puts my ipod on shuffle and skips every song until i get one i was hoping for*

(via communistbakery)